For all of my adult life, I felt stuck. It felt like my fate in life was to be overweight. I tried and failed so many diets that I figured I was just broken. In reality, the only thing that was broken was my thinking. Here are five thoughts that kept me FAT:
I don’t feel like it
This thought kept me waiting for the motivation fairy to drop in and fill me with motivation to do the things I didn’t feel like doing. In reality, feeling like doing something is never a requirement. We do so many things in our every day lives that we probably don’t feel like doing. For instance: paying bills, changing dirty diapers, following speed limits, chores around the house, attending meaningless work meetings, etc. You don’t feel like doing them but you get it done anyway.
The motivation to do something doesn’t come from an outside source. Motivation is created by you. If you are still waiting around for motivation to strike, check out this blog post on “How to find your weight loss motivation in 3 easy steps.” Quit using “I don’t feel like it” as an excuse to remain the same. Instead tell yourself “I don’t have to feel like it to do what’s best for myself.”
I deserve to eat whatever I want
This kept me feeling entitled to eat indulgent foods all day, every day. ALL the diets I had been on before left me feeling restricted and deprived. And I hated it! I didn’t want to feel that way so I told myself “I deserve to eat whatever I want.” But the truth of the matter is I always have a choice in what I eat. Whether I am on a restrictive diet or eating everything in sight, it is because I am choosing to do so.
Continuously telling myself that I deserved to eat whatever I wanted also left me feeling entitled to a party in my mouth each time I ate. I only thought about amazing and entertaining foods I wanted to eat. Foods that nourish my body and help it perform at its best were rarely considered.
Once I changed by thought from “I deserve to eat whatever I want” to “I can eat whatever I want however I choose to eat healthier so I can achieve my health goals,” I finally found a balance between nourishing my body, eating foods that were entertaining AND losing weight.
I don’t have any willpower
Another thought that kept me fat. It reinforced that I was broken and there was no hope for change. The reality of willpower is that everyone has it. Some people use their willpower each day and therefore it’s stronger. Others have let it wither away like an atrophied muscle.
If you want more willpower, then you have to start using it. Start small. Try leaving one bite behind after each meal. When that starts feeling easy, leave two or opt for half a plate of veggies. These small moments will help strengthen your willpower. The stronger it gets the more you are able to use it throughout your life.
A great thought to think instead of “I don’t have any willpower” is “Willpower is a muscle that everyone has and I am working on making mine stronger each day.”
I don’t want to miss out on life
Oh man. This was a big one. It kept me believing the lie the food is the only source of connection and fun in life.
Spoiler: it’s not.
In fact, food can often be a distraction to true connection and fun. Food is an activity that many people enjoy doing together however it isn’t a requirement. I am not missing out on life if I choose not to eat or choose to eat differently than people around me.
Instead, think of all the ways that being healthier allows you to enjoy your life MORE.
This was a game changer for me. I had never considered that my life could actually be better and I could be more engaged if I was losing weight and getting healthier. I could be more intentional in my conversations and interactions with others at parties. I could run and play with my sons. Bucket list items I was sure I could never do become possibilities again….hello standup paddle boarding, indoor skydiving and boudoir photoshoot!
Not to mention that getting healthier also means living longer. And not just living longer to be bedridden but living longer with a functioning body. Try thinking “Being overweight taxes my body and shortens my lifespan which truly results in missing out on life.”
I’ve failed too many times before.
By the time I reached 250 pounds, I had tried and failed at least a dozen diets. I felt like there was nothing left to try that would work for me. I felt so hopeless. Thinking “I’ve failed too many times before” was simply an excuse to stop trying at all. This thought kept me fat because it reminded me how much failure sucked before. It was my way of protecting myself from future pain and humiliation of failing yet another diet.
However failure is a natural part of the human experience.
If we all stopped doing anything the moment we failed, then none of us would learn to walk. The first time we fell down, we would stay on the ground. But for some reason failing a diet (or multiple ones), seems like a real reason to never try to get healthier again. Maybe I just found dozens of ways that didn’t work for me and that’s OK. That’s actually perfect! Every way that doesn’t work is actually a step closer to finding what DOES work. So instead of the thought “I’ve failed too many times before” that kept me fat, I chose to think “I want to figure out how to live my healthiest life on MY terms.”
You can figure out weight loss on your terms too. Start where you are and make small, incremental changes. The weight will come off more slowly than calorie restriction or macro counting but it will stay off effortlessly and forever.
If you don’t think you are able to figure out weight loss on your own, I can help.
Sign up for a 30-minute consult call with me and let’s get going.
Your Coach,
Andrea