When you lose over 90 pounds, the process will change you. You learn things about yourself, see yourself in a new light and even evolve into a better version of yourself (and not just because you lost a ton of weight). I’m going to share with you nine lessons I have learned on my journey to losing over 90 pounds in hopes that they can help you on your journey.
I enjoy sweets and treats more the less I eat them
On my journey, I didn’t restrict any types of foods, including sweets. In fact, at the beginning I was eating sweets multiple times a day. Eventually I began to focus on foods that really gave me sustained energy and the sweets became less of my daily routine. And you know what? Creating more space and time between the sweets really allowed me to create desire and anticipation for the treat. I savored them more and they were much more enjoyable when they were just a standard part of my day.
Emotional eating comes in many forms
I was aware that I was an emotional eater but as I began to check in with myself more regularly before eating, I realized I was emotionally eating ALL. THE. TIME.
If I was stressed about the kids being crazy kids, let’s look for some relief in the pantry. Work task that I didn’t want to start? Hmm…. maybe I should grab a snack before I get started. Bored? Let’s eat. Tired? A quick bite might energize me. If I was having a disagreement with my husband, I’ll show him by eating the last of the cookies! Feeling proud of my kids school performance? Let’s get ice cream!
Becoming aware of all the times I was eating when I wasn’t truly hungry helped me figure out the real solutions for those problems. Now I take a power nap if I’m tired or go to my room for a quick breather when they kids are being crazy. Solving for the true problem allows me to feel better while also losing weight in an enjoyable way.
It was time to parent myself
My high weight of 250 pounds came from a lot of emotional eating and a side of “I don’t wanna.” I didn’t want to deal with my emotions. Eating fresh fruits and veggies didn’t sound fun. 11,000 steps each day sounded hard. I didn’t want to stick to a food plan. I basically conditioned myself to be a big baby whose brain would throw a fit at the thought of what it would take to get healthier and lose weight. I wanted pleasure and I wanted it NOW.
I realized that many of the things I was allowing myself to do (like eat entire boxes of cookies or sit on the couch all day) were things I would never let my kids do. I know that moving your body, getting sunshine and eating a well balanced diet is key to good mental and physical health. Somehow I had convinced myself that because I already KNOW these things that meant I could be exempt from actually doing them. Not only was living my life that way taking a toll on my body but I was increasing mom guilt as I knew I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching to my kiddos.
So I started to parent myself. I would acknowledge that I was making changes and that changes are often uncomfortable. That’s OK. It wasn’t going to kill me. In fact the more I practiced this new way of living, the more I would become comfortable with it and even appreciate it. I also made an agreement with myself that just because “I didn’t wanna” didn’t make that a valid excuse for not doing something. Logically I knew these actions were all what was best for me and I could do them even if “I didn’t wanna.”
The scale is just one piece of data
Yep, it’s been said before and I’m saying it again. The scale is just a number. And it is only one number to consider on your weight loss journey. From the beginning of my weight loss journey, I made sure to track other measurements too. I took body weight measurements, used habit trackers and took progress pictures. These were invaluable as I had weeks were the scale didn’t move (or gasp, went up!). These other measurements helped me stay grounded as I could reflect on the efforts I was putting forth and other changes that my body was making.
Other ideas for non-scale measurement are body fat measurements, changes in how much you can lift and cardio endurance. Not sure how to measure cardio endurance? Climb a flight of stairs each month and record how long it takes, how long it takes you to catch your breath and how you feel afterwards. You can also track your mood throughout the process. Every morning record your mood in a journal. Exercise has been proven to elevate your mood so when you start noticing more happy and content days, that’s progress!
The only diet drama comes from my own head
This lesson took me a little longer to learn. When you are 100 pounds overweight, the beginning of your weight loss journey can be very thrilling. I made very little changes to my diet (I only stopped eating when I had enough, instead of being full) and the weight seemed to fall off. Eventually more changes had to be made to keep losing weight and certainly it was falling off me anymore. Cue the drama!
I realized that the weeks where the scale didn’t drop “enough,” stayed the same or went up a bit were really difficult for me. All the sudden my motivation would disappear and I would start questioning if I would ever be able to reach my goal. I knew this was a normal part of the weight loss journey but it felt terrible. So I decided to weigh myself every day. Why? Because I wanted to break free of the drama the scale created (or so I thought.)
After a couple of weeks of weighing daily, I started to notice a pattern. If it was down, I would congratulate myself and think “this is working!” If it was anything else, I would start criticizing all my choices from the day before and tell myself “I’ll never lose all my weight.” I was creating my own drama. I had elevated the scale as my number one measurement of success. A measurement that I couldn’t control but was definitely controlling me.
The answer was to ditch the drama by ditching the unhelpful thoughts. If I looked at my habits and I was doing the things it took to lose weight, then I would simply tell myself that weight loss was coming. The scale could say what it wants and I would remind myself of all the things I was doing right. This helped me to feel confident and capable to go forward and make good choices….and the weight loss always came eventually.
Appreciation and love for myself NOW
In the past when I tried to lose weight, I tried to spur myself into action through shame, fear and coercion. And every time, the results were temporary and the process felt terrible. This time around, I didn’t want to waste anymore of my life feeling terrible and I most certainly wanted the results to last.
Instead of beating myself up, I decided to cut out the negative self talk. I didn’t have to love myself and say pretty, flowery things. I simply made the rule that I would no longer say mean or critical things about myself. The magic about our brains is that you can only think ONE thought at a time. So as soon as I started thinking something unkind, I would simply distract myself with any other thought.
It’s pretty amazing how much better I felt just by putting a stop to being my own inner mean girl. Life felt so much better when I didn’t walk past a mirror and immediately tell myself “ew.” I felt a lot more motivated to eat better and move my body because I wasn’t zapping my energy with constant criticism of myself.
As I got really good at stopping the negative thoughts, I slowly began to incorporate nicer thoughts about myself. I would tell myself how proud I was for taking a walk or not having dessert when I wasn’t hungry. I practiced having gratitude for the things my body was capable of doing. I realized I didn’t have to wait to lose any weight to start treating myself nicely. Once I began being nicer to myself, cheering myself on and cultivating gratitude for my efforts, weight loss became more enjoyable and I had a lot more motivation to carry on.
I’m more interesting than a bag of chips
Being a working mom of four, I was making little to no time for myself. I didn’t have any hobbies except for cleaning up after the kids and raiding the pantry at night. A lot of my joy and entertainment was coming from food. It was easy, convenient and most importantly didn’t require me to get a babysitter. But it wasn’t fulfilling either. Eating a bag of chips while fun in the moment but fell flat in the fulfillment department.
I realized that throughout my day was constant chatter in my brain of a long list of to-dos and a bunch of self criticism. There were a few fleeting moments of happiness in my day except maybe a hug from one of my kids, my favorite chips or a sweet treat. I realized that a lot of my overeating was just me trying to break up all the drudgery that was going on in my brain. I desperately wanted to feel something other than the exhaustion of a never-ending to-do list or my constant inner chatter of not being good enough.
So I began to take notice of the things in my life that truly brought me joy. I started asking my husband for a hug when I felt down. I started moving my body daily in fun ways I truly enjoyed. I started looking for new activities to try that looked exciting like barre and drawing classes. I made time during my day to dance or listen to my favorite songs. I started making time to read again. The moral of the story is that I started exploring activities that brought me joy again rather than reaching for another handful of chips.
Motivation comes from doing, not waiting
So often I sat around waiting for the magic motivation fairy to come and sprinkle some motivation on me so I could eat healthier and move my body more. Waiting around for motivation was a sure fire way to delay getting started. Expecting motivation to keep me going was a death sentence to my weight loss journey.
After being on this weight loss journey now for over two years, I realize that motivation is nice but it’s not required to doing the things that are needed to lose weight. Discipline is a much more powerful tool. The discipline of doing what is needed to lose weight and then seeing the results of your efforts creates motivation. Motivation often comes from the thought “This is working!” Think about it, when you start a new diet, your motivation generally comes from thinking “This is going to work!” Motivation comes from expecting or seeing results.
Instead of hoping for motivation to come along and push you into making healthier decisions, rely on being disciplined. Your results live in your daily choices. Use discipline to choose those healthier choices each day. As you see your body changing and the scale going lower, you can be sure you’ll be motivated to make more and more healthier choices for yourself.
Create an enjoyable journey
Life doesn’t begin when you hit your goal weight. Life is happening each and every day whether you are working towards weight loss or not. It’s so important that you enjoy the process of losing weight. You only have one life to live so make every day count! It was so important for me to really enjoy my journey and to make it fun.
Here are a few ways I made sure to enjoy my journey:
- Reward yourself for reaching milestones
- Buy clothes that look great on you NOW
- Write down three wins for each and every day
- Only exercise in ways you enjoy
- Be sure to plan for and eat foods that you enjoy
- Don’t do anything to lose weight that you aren’t willing to do for the rest of your life
So there you have it! The nine lessons I have learned after losing 90 pounds.
Comment below and tell me which on is your favorite!
Your coach,
Andrea